Private Ceremony, No Flowers

CONFERENCE SOUTH
Att: 471

SUTTON UNITED - 0  
CAMBRIDGE CITY - 3    [Sheringham 20. Neilson 37. 67]

Thank fuck that's over. A more painful season I could not have imagined, where our form barely raised above the level of 'fucking diabolical' and we've gone down with the sort of points total that would quite frankly make a Carshalton fan red-faced with embarrassment.

And Now, The End Is Near....

CONFERENCE SOUTH
Att: 346

BOGNOR REGIS TOWN - 1  [Flukey 88]
SUTTON UNITED - 1   [McBean 57]

Game number 41 in a mostly incredibly bollocks series of 42. Oh joy. To make matters worse, this evenings trip to Bognor really should have been on the following Saturday this season, but thanks to the wonderful organisational skills at Conference HQ, some utter twat genuinely forgot about the play-offs when doing the fixture list. So halfway through the season, they announced that the last 2 fixtures had to be moved to accommodate them.

A Nasty Stain In The Bath

CONFERENCE SOUTH
Att: 747

BATH CITY - 2   [Foley 12. Walsh 65]
SUTTON UNITED - 3   [Dundas 7. McBean 24. 42]

Three to go. With relegation confirmed, there's little to really keep us interested in what remains of this season, apart from the struggles of our dear friends and neighbours at Colston Avenue, who find themselves in the familiar territory of the Ryman Premier Division relegation zone. But, whilst this admittedly puts a mild smirk on the face of your average U's follower, it simply can't make up for virtually 9 months of abject misery.

Not A Wing Or A Prayer

CONFERENCE SOUTH
Att: 456

SUTTON UNITED - 1   [Dundas 13]
WELLING UNITED - 2   [Ryan 25. Smith 67]

With our stay in the Conference South now officially over, we're left with 4 games to endure that really mean nothing. And when you consider how we've performed when the games HAVE meant something, we're not feeling that there's not going to be much to shout about in the last couple of weeks of the season.

Jimmy and the Big 'R'

CONFERENCE SOUTH
Att: 652

HAVANT & WATERLOOVILLE - 2   [Nightingale 45. McCallum 57]
SUTTON UNITED - 0

Well, it looks like that un-named club official wasn't wrong, as come Sunday lunchtime following the Fisher defeat the texts start flying. It seems that Ernie has indeed parted company with the club following the previous day's defeat, with the age old 'Mutual consent' being mentioned in the press release. My my. What a super campaign we're having. Not only is it possibly the worst season in the club's history, but with 5 games to go we're now looking at installing our 4th manager. Fucks sake.

Down but not Down...

CONFERENCE SOUTH
Att: 471

SUTTON UNITED - 0
FISHER ATHLETIC - 2   [Batt 13. Tomlin 30]

Well, this is it. After today, it should be all over. No, sadly I'm not talking about the end of the season, but rather the end of our stay in the Conference South. Yep, after today's no doubt inevitable defeat, we should sit some 15 points adrift of safety with only the 5 games left to play, a hugely inferior goal difference (about 27 worse off in fact than our 'nearest' rivals in fact) and when you consider the we've won just 4 games and managed only 27 goals in 37 matches so far, I think you'll agree that a miracle escape may now be somewhat beyond us.

Won't Be Long Now....

CONFERENCE SOUTH
Att: 471

BISHOPS STORTFORD - 3  [Higgins 14. Edwards 39. Edwards 60]
SUTTON UNITED - 1   [Goodchild 76]

Dunno about you, but I had a cracking Saturday afternoon. There I was, at home, confined to my sofa, doubled up with flu feeling shit under my duvet with a big mug of lemsip. It was great.

Well, actually it wasn't.

More Bad U's

CONFERENCE SOUTH
Att: 490

SUTTON UNITED - 1    [El-Salahi 85]
EASTBOURNE BOROUGH - 5  [Ramsay 4. Atkin 39. 67. Armstrong 46. Ballard 67]

We're fast counting down the games now until this wretched season is over and we can just consign it to the dustbin of history and get on with the task of getting back out of the Ryman as fast as humanly possible.

Iron Supplement Woes

CONFERENCE SOUTH
Att: 494

BRAINTREE TOWN - 1   [Bloke p49]
SUTTON UNITED - 0

Right, With last weeks almost abject surrender and the realisation that our Conference South place is now all but lost, you can imagine an already tired and dejected support finding it hard to lift itself for fixtures such as this.

Anne Frank's Diary

SURREY SENIOR CUP 5th ROUND
Att: 279

WOKING - 3   [Sole 13. Morgan 56. Norville 88]
SUTTON UNITED - 1   [Johnson 39]

I'll be honest with you dear reader, the match reports have been a real pain in the arse this season. What with the dreadful stuff served up on the pitch most weeks, writing these things has become something of a chore. In fact, I'd say Anne Frank probably had more fun writing her famous diary than I have doing this stuff this year.

The Lingering Odour of Peach Schnapps....

CONFERENCE SOUTH
Att: 485

SUTTON UNITED - 0
BOGNOR REGIS TOWN - 2    [Pearson 32. Knee 50]

Right, so we had to get 3 points at Dorch on saturday & fucked it up. So I guess we even more 'have to' get 3 points at home against Bognor today to make up for it.

Harry's Mules

CONFERENCE SOUTH
Att: 439

DORCHESTER TOWN - 0
SUTTON UNITED - 0

So, this is it then. The biggie. A massive 6 pointer down in Dorset, that should we win, could go a long way towards us perhaps doing the previously unthinkable and maybe saving our worthless hides from the drop. Oh and there's the piss up as well. Let's not forget the piss up. And deep down we all know which of those is more likely to occur and I think you do too...

Blonde Cardboard Cut-Out

CONFERENCE SOUTH
Att: 455

SUTTON UNITED - 0
EASTLEIGH - 0

Strange how things come full circle eh?

Back in September we went down to Eastleigh with 2 points to our name and expecting nothing other than a fucking good hiding. Somehow though, we managed to survive a utterly crap 1st half to lead at the break and incredibly come away with all 3 points after a 2-1 win.

Not Quite Anfield

CONFERENCE SOUTH
Att: 485

SUTTON UNITED - 1    [Dundas p42]
HAVANT & WATERLOOVILLE - 3    [Taggart 9. Baptiste p20. Elphick 47]

So, here we are. Middle of February, still bottom and our last Tuesday evening home game is about to be played out. Which means the season's nearly over. Woo hoo! I can't wait.

Sutton's Resolve Steffans?

CONFERENCE SOUTH
Att: 436

SUTTON UNITED - 1   [Ball 12]
THURROCK - 0

I'm tired of all this. Can we just take our total of 15 points, work out our average points gained so far (it won't be a lot, let's face it), apply that to the remaining dozen games or so we have left, then add it to our current total and just call it quits? Yes dear reader, I think it's fair to say that our struggles this season are starting to wear me down somewhat.

Closer To The Edge

CONFERENCE SOUTH
Att: 648

BROMLEY - 1    [Williams 42]
SUTTON UNITED - 0

It's not good. Not good at all.

The brief upsurge in confidence we had around the New Year has now pretty much evaporated, what with the return to our early season defensive form at home to Bath and at Fisher. Add to that the incredibly frustrating 1-0 loss to Newport in last weeks Fort Knox game since that mental last 10 minutes at St Albans and you can probably see why there's an overriding air of depression once more hanging above Gander Green Lane.

Leek Eating Lockdown

CONFERENCE SOUTH
Att: 609

SUTTON UNITED - 0
NEWPORT COUNTY - 1   [Bowen p41]

Another week, another 90 minutes battling to try & get something from a game that'll aid us in what is our increasingly futile looking quest to retain our Conf South status this season.  The cause isn't helped by the fact that we seem to be playing sodding play-off chasing sides almost every other week at the moment. And they tend to be fairly good at the kicking of the football that we're not so good at currently.

Sleeping Or Laughing?

SURREY SENIOR CUP 4th ROUND
Att: 149

SUTTON UNITED - 3   [R.Hughes p103. Ottaway 114. 119]
METROPOLITAN POLICE - 0

After Extra-Time

It's another brief break from the horrors of Conference South life tonight, as the excitement and fervour of the Surrey Senior Cup returns to enlighten our lives.

Fishing For Luckies..

CONFERENCE SOUTH
Att: 235

FISHER ATHLETIC - 4    [McCollin (11. 27. 57. 90]
SUTTON UNITED - 2   [Dundas 1. 46]

With the Xmas feel-good factor pretty much quashed by the expected, but still rather disappointing home humping at the hands of Bath, we return to action with a (hopefully!) slightly more winnable fixture away at Fisher.

Drowned In The Bath

CONFERENCE SOUTH
ATTENDANCE : 598

SUTTON UNITED - 0
BATH CITY - 4   [Gilroy 22. 41. p69. Holland 40]

It couldn't last. We sort of knew that. But it was nice for once to enjoy a couple of decent results before we returned to the usual drudgery of getting our arses handed to us regularly. I don't think anyone ever expected much more than bugger all from the visit of Bath, but suffice to say, we weren't disappointed in that prediction.

Saints Alive!!

CONFERENCE SOUTH
Att: 426

ST ALBANS CITY - 1   [Stevenson 75]
SUTTON UNITED - 2   [Dundas p80 Scarborough 90]

With 2008 underway somewhat more successfully than 2007 (not that hard if we're honest) after the nerve shredding 2-1 win over Hampton on New Years Day, things are starting to look vaguely more hopeful. With results going our way, we suddenly find ourselves no longer cast hoplessly adrift at the foot of the table and seemingly miles from safety, but instead a paltry 3 points behind 3rd bottom St Albans and within spitting distance of the almost sanctuary like 19th place.

An Unexpectedly Happy New Year

CONFERENCE SOUTH
Att: 622

SUTTON UNITED - 2   [Dundas p35. 46]
HAMPTON & RICHMOND BOROUGH - 1   [Lake 36]

Thank god that's over!

I don't think I'm alone in saying that 2007 was, as years go, a fucking shite one. Especially if you were a Sutton supporter. A dismal 12 months that saw us spend most of it flirting with relegation and putting on displays of largely awful football.