How Low Can You Go?

FA TROPHY 3rd QUALIFYING ROUND REPLAY 
Att : 252

SUTTON UNITED - 0
UXBRIDGE - 1   [Swift 28]

Now, I realise that these reports do convey pretty much how I saw the game. But, in a case such as this where we were so utterly bad, I also realise that even my colourful use of the English language may not quite convey the full horror.

Shame Shit, Different Cup

FA TROPHY 3rd QUALIFYING ROUND
Att : 204

UXBRIDGE - 2   [Nicholls 37. Swaysland 54]
SUTTON UNITED - 2   [Elliot 22. Castledine 90]

Now, I’m all for maintaining traditions and that, but this is getting ridiculous.

Slide Halted......Just

CONFERENCE SOUTH
Att : 581

SUTTON UNITED - 1  [OG 85]
NEWPORT COUNTY - 1  [Belle 55]

I bloody hate missing games. Especially for little or no reason. And that's what I faced last week. Missing out because you’re utterly skint is one thing. Missing out because your flat has no heating, is freezing fucking cold and you have to sit in waiting for the bloke to come & fix it is another.

A Woman's Perspective

CONFERENCE SOUTH
Att : 513

EASTLEIGH - 2   [Forbes 89. 90]
SUTTON UNITED - 0

Match Reporter: Mrs Chalmers

Unfortunately, a slight cashflow problem and faulty central heating (in a secret Volcano lair, I know, embarrassing right?) at Gandermonium HQ meant I had to give our first ever visit to Eastleigh a miss.

Less Said The Better

CONFERENCE SOUTH
Att : 628

SUTTON UNITED - 1   [Gonsalves 87]
LEWES - 5   [Sigere 1. 8. 17. 53. Kennet 40]

Look, it's no use trying to rub some imaginary sleep from your eyes like it was some sort of bad dream or horrible nightmare. I know, 'cos I've tried! It really did happen like that and yes, We really were that bad.