This Is The Ball, This Is The Net

NATIONWIDE CONFERENCE
Att: 1014

HAYES - 1  [Charles 67]
SUTTON UNITED - 0

Yet again, Sutton United’s ability to completely ruin my Christmas has done it’s stuff. Another abject 1-0 away defeat to a frankly average side and we miss a shitload of chances.

Brummies Blag Points

NATIONWIDE CONFERENCE
Att: 749

SUTTON UNITED - 1   [Skelly 66]
NUNEATON BOROUGH - 2   [Ware 43, 84]

Our visit to Nuneaton earlier in the season had produced little for us. The local Firkin had closed permanently and after dominating the first 20 minutes, Dacky got himself sent off and we got beat.

Residents Only Parking!

NATIONWIDE CONFERENCE
Att: 586

FOREST GREEN ROVERS - 1   [Drysdale p24]
SUTTON UNITED - 2     [Watson 21, Newhouse 34]

Well, I don’t like to say it, but I bloody hate the part of the world that is commonly known as the ‘South West’. It’s a sodding nightmare.

A Feeling Of Déjà Vu?

NATIONWIDE CONFERENCE
Att: 761

Sutton United – 1   [Newhouse 57]
Kettering Town – 1   [Brown 54]

I’ll admit it, I’m rather glad to see the back of Kettering. They’re just a traditional big ‘orrible Conference side.

Yawwwwn!

ISTHMIAN CHARITY SHIELD MATCH
Att: 641

Aldershot Town – 2   [Cash 36, Gell 39]
Sutton United – 1   [Winston 56]

JR stated beforehand that he’d be taking this game a bit more seriously than last year. Well that wouldn't be too hard now would it?

Heavy Defeat In A Far Off Field

NATIONWIDE CONFERENCE
Att: 1460

MORCAMBE – 6  [Eastwood 29,45 Jackson 70 Drummond 80 Smith 83 Lyons 88]
SUTTON UNITED – 2  [Watson 48, Riley 63]

Just 7 days after doling out a nice spanking to Salisbury in the Trophy, it was our turn to get a right good hiding.

Unusual Progress

FA TROPHY 2nd ROUND
Att: 643

Salisbury City – 2   [Shepherd 57, Sales 83]
Sutton United – 5   [Winston 8, Watson 33, Ekoku 68, Rowlands 86, Harlow 87]

Apparently Salisbury has the most pubs per square mile in Britain. Woo hoo! My kinda city!

Tense Battle

NATIONWIDE CONFERENCE
Att: 1010

Sutton United – 0
Yeovil Town – 1   [Cousins 38]

Yeovil was the scene of one of this seasons best moments so far. Barry Laker’s bludgeoning header from 2 yards out snatching an unexpected 3 points and sending us lot behind the goal absolutely mental!

U's Get Their Wings

NATIONWIDE CONFERENCE
Att: 704

Welling United - 2     [Rowe 45, 65]
Sutton United – 3     [Harlow 45, Watson 46, Harford 71]

So, a relegation 6 pointer in November?? Not the sort of thing you need. Especially as the U’s had managed to give away 3 points to this lot on our own ground a few weeks back.

Donny Done

NATIONWIDE CONFERENCE
Att: 1097

Sutton United - 1     [Watson 20]
Doncaster Rovers - 0  
                             
After the mildy pleasing denial of 3 points to the annoyingly smug K’s on tuesday, we awaited the invasion of Ex-League club Doncaster, the club with by far the biggest support in the Conference.

Welcome Back To Reality

NATIONWIDE CONFERENCE
Att: 1422

Sutton United - 2    [Dack 69, Winston 90]
Kingstonian - 2     [O.G.16, O.G. 64]

We’d been waiting for this one. The so called ‘local derby’ between 'big rivals’ K’s and Sutton.

Rushden University of Football, Lesson Number 2 of 3.

FA CUP 4th QUALIFYING ROUND
Att: 2552

Rushden & Diamonds - 4 [McElhatton 11,45 Brady 13, Collins 74]
Sutton United – 1 [Rowlands 53]

So, we travelled to Rushden’s Nene Park stadium knowing that the chances of another good hiding at the hands of the biggest, richest club in all of the Conference was a distinct possibility. But more of that later.

Didn't Wanna Go To Yeovil Anyway...

CONFERENCE LEAGUE CUP 1st ROUND
Att: 652
After Extra Time

Hereford United - 2   [May 96, 103]
Sutton United - 0

The title says it all really. We’ve been to Huish Park already, knicked 3 points and we have absolutely no desire to go back there until (we hope!) next season. Especially as we have our re-arranged game at Forest Green the following week. Thanks, but no thanks.

A Point! And Runcorn Still Smells...

NATIONWIDE CONFERENCE
Att: 1122

SOUTHPORT - 1  [Elam 73]
SUTTON UNITED - 1   [Winston 11]

Match Reporter: Chalmers

Nice long journey up north for a game we thought we had a chance of winning. It’s not that funny! With a dodgy result against Welling we needed to make amends, prove to them and us that we’re good enough for this league.

U's Wings Clipped

NATIONWIDE CONFERENCE
Att: 814

SUTTON UNITED - 2    [Dack 6, 8]
WELLING UNITED - 3  [Hanlon 4, Bailey 38, Dennis 75]

Match Reporter: Chalmers

What a crap cup draw. I can imagine it now. Barry Davies standing there trying to be less boring than Graham Kelly, pulls our game out of the hat. “What a great game for a neutral”. Bollocks you twat.

I'm A Cider Drinker...

NATIONWIDE CONFERENCE
Att: 2839

Yeovil Town – 1      [Long Haired Bloke 45]
Sutton United – 2    [Watson 65, Laker 75]

So, having finally got off the mark in the W column just last weekend, Sutton of course won their second Conference game in a row on Saturday with a stunning 2-1 success at early league leaders Yeovil. A side who until that afternoon hadn't conceded a goal, let alone lose at their isolated (and bloody windy) Huish Park fortress. Fucking football eh?

About Bloody Time!

NATIONWIDE CONFERENCE
Att: 805

Sutton United – 3   [Watson 25,60  Dack 75]
Altrincham – 0

Well. It had to happen eventually didn't it. Law of averages, stopped clock right twice a day. All that stuff.  The U’s have been in illustrious company recently. Only Newcastle United, Sheffield Wednesday, Oldham Athletic and some one else (I forget who!) were the only other sides in the top 5 divisions without a win before today.

Cows Arses Remain Undamaged

NATIONWIDE CONFERENCE
Att: 1326

Kettering Town – 1 [Abrahams 40]
Sutton United – 0

In the first few games of this Conference Campaign, one thing above all else has become apparent. Scoring is an proving to be something of an issue. For us that is, not the oppo. They seem to be managing just fine. In fact, it may have been said that we couldn't score in a brothel with a 50 pound note attached to our genitalia. But all that did was start a debate about HOW it would be attached and how relatively painful\pain free each of those methods would be when it came to removal.

Got To Start Somewhere...

NATIONWIDE CONFERENCE
Att: 1056

Dover Athletic – 1   [Some Geezer 75]
Sutton United – 1   [Winston 79]

So it's to the south coast after our footballing lesson by Rushen just 48 hours earlier on Saturday. Despite the now officially crappy start to the season, our away support seems to be swelling, as we took 2 cars loaded up for this one! Clearly some people have nowt better to do with their time.

Playing With The Big Boys Now

NATIONWIDE CONFERENCE
Att: 1038

Sutton United - 0
Rushden & Diamonds - 4  [Collins 20,39 West 76 McElhatton 85]

Wasn’t too sure about missing this one, but a commitment made under the influence of alcohol a few weeks back meant I couldn't worm my way out of it without at the least incurring the wrath of a scorned woman or at worse losing bits of my anatomy I'm fairly fond of. And yes, I know, what sort of stupid bastard gets married 3 weeks into the footy season anyway?? What's the world coming to?

The Punishment Don't Fit The Crime

NATIONWIDE CONFERENCE
Att: 1151

Sutton United – 0
Stevenage Borough – 2     [Samuels 42, 81]

When we got the fixtures (eventually!) for this season, I looked at our first 6 games and declared we’d do well to take 6 points from ‘em, littered as they were with solid Conference names who've been around on this particular block for a little while.

No Luck, But Plenty of Beer

NATIONWIDE CONFERENCE
Att: 1062

HEDNESFORD TOWN - 1  [Kimmins 22]
SUTTON UNITED - 0

Before I start, this report is dedicated to Claire & Angie at the Fermenter & Firkin, Wolverhampton. The West Midlands coolest barmaids. Cheers girls. Also worthy of a mention is the young lady in ‘Pennys’ Fish Bar, Oldbury. She not only gave us bang on directions to the pub, but dished up some bloody good chips too.

Left In The Dark

NATIONWIDE CONFERENCE
Att: 816
Match Abandoned 45mins - Floodlight Failure

FOREST GREEN ROVERS - 1  [Some Bloke 35]
SUTTON UNITED - 2  [Dack 34. Harlow 39]

So, the long awaited trip to Forest Green Rovers arrives (Where? Oh stop it...). Our first Conference away game in eight years and man were we planning to enjoy it. After some brief research, we’ve found our destination on the map (well, not exactly, but we found somewhere very near to it...), planned the piss up and we were off.

8 Minutes from Dreamland

NATIONWIDE CONFERENCE
Att: 1386

SUTTON UNITED - 1  [Harford 58]
HEREFORD UNITED - 1  [James 82]

When I first started watching the U’s aged 10, now some 15 years ago, I believed like any child does that my team would win every week. Of course they didn’t. Ah, the innocence of youth! Kids, they really are stupid eh?

Can You Hear a Robin Sing?

SURREY SENIOR CUP FINAL

Sutton United - 3    [Akrour 25, Harlow 44, S.Watson 80]
Carshalton - 0

Played @ Metropolitan Police FC

The answer to the title is of course a resounding 'No', just in case you were wondering. You weren't? Oh ok then. So, Sutton swept to their 3rd Surrey Senior Cup Final victory over their local rivals with consummate ease at Imber Court, encountering minor resistance from the the Bobbins who had only escaped the drop into Division 1 by the narrowest of possible margins last week.

Who Cares? We're Up!

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION
Att : 1381

Sutton United - 1  [Ekoku  44]
Basingstoke Town - 2  [Xavier [28] [35]

So, it's finally all over. Sutton promoted back to the Conference after an 8 year absence and Carshalton staring relegation in the face for the second season running.

Is This Really Enfield?

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION
Att : 511

Enfield - 1  [Some Bloke 45]

Sutton United - 1  [M.Watson 35]

As the title suggests, this was a somewhat strange visit to our long time buddies in North London.

Hungover Boys?

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION
Att : 585

Walton & Hersham - 0 
Sutton United - 2 [Arkour [76] [85]

Oh God, what a week. After the frustration of Tuesday, then to euphoria of Thursday, this particular little encounter was always going to be somewhat laboured!

Ascendance

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION
Att: 1500

Sutton United - 5  [Skelly 8], Harlow, Riley, M.Watson, S.Watson
Aldershot Town - 0

After Tuesday's PP, we were obviously keen to get this league title stuff done and dusted ASAP. And so it seems were Aldershot for some reason, who kindly agreed to move the game 48hrs back to the Thursday.

Bye Bye Bromley?

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION
Att : 1137

Sutton United - 2  [S.Watson 9], [M.Watson 63]
Bromley - 0

So, it's time our ever wonderful old 'friends' from Hayes Lane popped by to deliver another feast of dull as fuck kick and rush football, with a smidgin of sickening brutality.

After The Lord Mayor's Show

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION
Att : 833

Sutton United - 1  [Winston 39]

Gravesend & Northfleet - 1  [Powell 85]

Two things you don't generally get in April. Firstly, the mighty U's sittining top of the table and secondly, it should'nt be THIS fucking COLD!

We Only Need 10 Men...

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION
Att: 2200

Aylesbury United - 1     [Rutherford 59]
Sutton United - 4     [Akrour 11, 76, 84. OG 25]

See that? Yes that bright shining light. There, just on the horizon. What is it?? Oh wait, it’s the sun reflecting of the championship shield, that's what it is!! Sweet. Didn't know Ryman did silver polish.

Revenge Is Oh So Sweet

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION
Att: 1800

Sutton United - 3    [Winston 21, Harford 47, Akrour  67]
BOBBINS!! - 0

GET IN THERE!! Cop that you scummy common garden birdie filth.

Off the 'Firkin' top again

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION
Att: 

Dagenham & Redbridge - 0 
Sutton United - 0

Sutton's short tenure at the summit of the Ryman Premier ended with their first goal-less draw of the season at Dagenham's Victoria Road.

Vertigo Sets In

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION
Att : 536

Gravesend & Northfleet - 2  [Sewell 13], [Callinan 44]

Sutton United - 1  [Laker 72]

We knew thew run would end sooner or later, but to see it go in such crap circumstances was somewhat galling.

Top Of The Pile

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION
Att:

Sutton United - 4 [OG 14], [M.Watson [30] [46], [Rowlands 80]
Billericay Town - 1 [Portway 28]

Sutton United regained the top spot in the Ryman Premier Division, that they'd last held just before Christmas, on Tuesday night with a convincing if not entirely comfortable win over Billericay.

Ducks In Sight

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION
Att : 301

Hendon - 0

Sutton United - 3 [M.Watson 21], [Dack 26],  Akrour [63]

The U's made fine use of one of their games in hand over leaders Aylesbury with a good 3-0 win at Hendon, a side the Ducks had been apparently rather fortunate to beat just 1-0 themselves only 3 days before our visit.

A Grey Day For Pink 'n' Blue

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION
Att : 861

Sutton United - 2  [Skelly 59]  [Harlow 64]

Dulwich Hamlet - 0

The U's kept up their recent good form with a 2-0 win over our old friends from Champion Hill, but were made to work hard for the 3 points. With Dulwich struggling to stay away from the relegation scrap at the bottom and now missing their top scorer Thompson, who's recently departed to Crawley, it was always going to be a battle for the boys in Amber.

Stuffed Swan Anyone?

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION
Att : 611

Sutton United - 5   Harlow, Dack, S.Watson M.Watson (2 - 1 pen)

Walton & Hersham - 0

Whoa, Whoa, Slow DOWN!!! Let me get this straight, 2 league wins in 4 days, 8 goals scored with NONE in reply??

Solid Away Win Brings Hope

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION
Att : 494

Chesham United - 0 

Sutton United - 3  [Mark Watson [19] [75], Akrour [87]

A good away win? AND a clean sheet? Somebody wake me up, I think I'm dreaming!

Basingrad Cruise

Isthmian League Cup 3rd Rd
Att : 178

Sutton United - 2  [M.Watson 62],  [S.Watson 75]
Basingstoke Town - 0

Sorry if this report is a bit vague/inaccurate, but I wasn't going to bother writing one, but I changed my mind. A week later! So, er....

Bishops To The Edge

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION
Att : 732

Sutton United - 2  [S.Watson 8], [M.Watson 72]

Bishops Stortford - 0

The abberation of Tuesday night was forgotten as Sutton continued their pursuit of Aylesbury at the top of the Ryman Premier with a comfortable, if laboured win over bottom placed Bishops's Stortford.

Title Hopes Fading?

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION
Att:

Boreham Wood - 2 [West 45],  [Dixon 60]
Sutton United - 0

Our heroes poor form continued at Boreham Wood on Saturday, with the U's going down 2-0 to an average Boreham Wood side lying back in 8th position in the Ryman Prem.

Magpies Nick Our Cup

RYMAN LEAGUE CUP QUARTER FINAL
After Extra Time
Att :

Maidenhead United - 5
Sutton United - 4  [Akrour 6], [M.Watson 26], [Harford 75], [Salako 119]

United lost their grip on the Isthmian League Cup on Tuesday night, going out at the Quarter-Finals after Extra Time to 1st Division Maidenhead in right old see-saw, ding dong, topsy turvy 5-4 battle.

Steady Eddie!

SURREY SENIOR CUP SEMI FINAL
Att: 

Sutton United - 6  [OG 2], [Arkour], [Watson], [Riley p], [Salako]
Woking - 0

Sutton’s recent good form further continued as they reached the Surrey Senior Cup Final after an amazingly tense, close nerve tingler of a match against.......Oh stop laughing at the back....Ok, Ok we murdered ‘em.

Beavers Dam-busted

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION
Att : 380

Hampton - 0 

Sutton United - 3  [Laker 28], [M.Watson [74] [82]

Sutton’s recent decent form continued on Saturday with another 3 points gained at the expense of a Beavers side struggling at the foot of the Ryman Premier. Again as with Slough last week, the U’s had to be patient before taking the lead and then overwhelming their opponents.

Too Cold, Too Far & Too Flu

SURREY SENIOR CUP QUARTER FINAL
Att : 78

Ashford Town (Middx) - 1  [McDonald 45]

Sutton United - 2  [Arkour 18],  [S.Watson 36]

I didn't attend this one as it’s a bit of a bastard to get to (what with it being in Middlesex and all), I had the flu & it was fucking freezing.

Opening Day Fiasco Avenged

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION
Att : 585

Slough Town – 1 [Hammet 85]

Sutton United - 2  [M.Watson [17] [50]

Sutton finally gained revenge for that awful opening day defeat at home by a Slough side which had been put together much like a hungover Sunday outfit. Eg. At about an hour's notice.

Sutton Stumble

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION
Att : 924

Sutton United - 2  [Brooker 53], [Riley p65]

St Albans City - 3 [Gentle 24], [Clark p44], [Haworth 82]

Sutton's title challenge took another dent with their second home defeat against fellow challengers this season

Cones, Trolleys, Beer & Crap Football

FA TROPHY 3rd ROUND
Att: 

Weymouth - 1    [West 55]
Sutton United - 0

Yawn. Another trip to the South West results in our Wembley dreams ending for another season thanks to a less than memorable game with the U's on the wrong end of the scoreline despite having had their fair share of the contest. Standard.

The Dack is Back...

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION - Sat 2nd Jan 1999 - Att : 995

Sutton United - 3  [Brooker 50], [Salako 74], [M.Watson 77]

Dagenham & Redbridge - 1  [Cobb 5]

Good news! Our intrepid heroes managed to return to winning ways after the bank holiday debacle at…..well, you know where, with an, in the end, resounding win over one of last seasons challengers for the title. Which was nice.